Thursday, May 7, 2009

Hard Day

For the last few days I've been sad and irritated and just down right blue. Tears are forever on the edge of streaming from my eyes and my mouth feels like there are little weights on the ends pulling them down to my chin in a perpetual frown. I truly don't know what's going on except that I feel like I'm suffocating in my environment.

Today, the very smallest incident occurred sending me curled up on my couch crying uncontrollably until I forced myself up and into my car to drive to the beach for the sunset. I ended up in the sand curled up in my sweatshirt, shoe for a pillow, crying again until I could not shed another ounce of fluid from my eyes realizing that the moon was ridiculously full and I had very little reason to be so out of control. Yes, there are things going on in my life but it's not terminal cancer: no physical pain or anything disastrous going on in mine or my family's life: I have a roof over my head, work waiting to be done for a reasonable wage and all is well with my sons, grandchildren, most of my friends and so on. What in the world could be driving me to such a state??????
Off to Whole foods I go to purchase a pint of this ice cream and that ice cream, whipped cream, muffins for breakfast, blueberries and a bag of gourmet coffee for peek into my evening and tomorrow's breakfast. I hope I don't regret these purchases as it feels so right at the moment.

I'm hoping that the full moon decides to decease and delete the negative energy that I'm experiencing and release me from it's pull so that I can pick up the pieces and move on to a better day and weekend.
Being a woman who is sensitive to the moon's energy I feel tired of being so out of control. A little bit ain't bad but this is ridiculous. I have so much to do to catch up from this week...I feel overwhelmed.
I'm also experiencing a bit of disappointment. But, that's for another post.
My eyes are dry so I'll say good night. I'm off for another bowl of ice cream no matter how sick my tummy aches from it.

1 comment:

Jane Farr said...

My heart is aching for you Renee. I'm sorry you are struggling. I hope you find some small comfort knowing someone you've never met face-to-face is wrapping her love around you! Consider journaling about your thoughts and emotions, if you're able.